Sober
by justaweirdowithnoname
Summary: sober - synonyms: slight, serious, Severus   shortfic SS/HG COMPLETE


And everything started in a way that I could never imagine. For me, all that thing of love between a professor and a student was just a think I once readed in Lolita, for me love and hate were not simmilar feelings, for me smiles were not masks and were just full of contempt. Not full admiration, not full of desire. Only and just years gone by, five of them with implicit contempt, two with disgust. For him, were seven years of admiration, five with fascination and two with the same passion: in the first books and knowledge, then firewhisky.

_sober - marked by temperance, balance, moderation and / or seriousness; contained in emotions and whims_

The situation was not black and white at the beggining - this time were just rude words, claims, charges. I cried, he laughed. I despaired, he watched. I thought he enjoyed every drop of my sweat and did not want me in his arms all the time. The forbidden. The dreamed. Rules and more rules so stupid in a society so hypocrite which do not see in a good way relationships with that age difference. They don't believe in feelings, in happiness. They want to destroy every single relationship as hungry sharks waiting for the next victim. And sometimes they almost destroyed us. "Almost" because after every single fight came the pardon. Not in a verbal way, not in a material one. Just a look and nothing more. Because I knew that he was sorry and he knew that I was sorry too. And that was the way we kept our relation.

_sober - stripped of exhibitions of power, culture, intelligence, character or conduct of peaceful, quiet, secluded_

When I saw him at the Order I was not the same girl. I saw him not as an obsessed with being the best at everything looking to the one who should teach her, but as a grown up woman looking to a man. I was twenty-five and he, more than twenty years more than me. While the other members were concerned to brandish their wands we were creating plans and scribbling in scrolls. We were so good in planning what should be done and manipulate everyone in every single situation that we did not realize when we fell at our own trap. No one wanted to assume that. I did not because I could not believe that the one that I hated for so many years now was the one I liked, he because he did not believed that I could feel the same way. We tought that we were rejected by eachother even we shared books, feathers, ink and beverage bottles. We were not the party people, always standing in the corner drinking something while he made sarcastic commentaries. Silent drunks, judging us at better than everybody, falling in the trap, the biggest one, the worst, the one that you can not be free easily. At our first kiss he smelt like whisky. I tasted like martini.

_sober - in tone or color not showy, flashy_

One time he looked differently to me. I smiled. He did the same. We just knew it, we did not needed words.

Now I'm standing here. I know that has been a while but it still hard to live without him (I'm getting better, but I'm not ok), living without the one that hugged me when I was sad, that dried my tears. What I loved about him was not the beauty or the possetions, the behavior or the strenght. Was the intelligence, the fact that he did not care about what other people thought and said. He was self-sufficient and, with that, teached me more than any other professor. And I loved him. And three months after he died I still love him. Three months and I still without a single drop of alcohol in my stomach, without any desire of drinking what was left of our last firewhisky bottle and lose everything I have of him in this world. And I keep breathing, hoping to breath for the last time and then be once again with him - anywhere he is.

_sober - synonyms: slight, serious, **Severus**_

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In portuguese, a synonyms of "sober" is "Severo", the translated name of our loved Snape. Once this fanfiction was first wrote in portuguese, that's the explanation why I left the "Severus" in the end of the definition. This was my first translation of a fanfiction to English - I'm stil learning the language so I'm sorry about any mistake. This fanfic was also my first Severus/Hermione (: Too short, I know, but that's all I could wrote. Maybe another time I'll try to write more fanfics with my favourite shippers.

Inspired in "Sober" by Kelly Clarkson.

Thanks to hopelland to give me the support and believe that I could translate it - or at least try to.

Make me happy with reviews!


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